I have had several teachers and relatives (especially those overachieving uncles) who would always tell me “You can do more”. They did not tell me I could do better. They would say I could do more. It was as if they almost knew I was peaking and still in the middle of the pack.

Whether it was grades, swimming or violin, I was always the “middle of the pack or lower”. I remember many parent-teacher (PTA) meetings, where my mom would be asked “What does Mukund’s dad do?” and after my mom mentioned, that he was a superstar, the teacher would be largely incredulous, shake her head and say “Then why is he just not doing well in <fill in the blanks>”? Back in the ’80s it was okay to be politically incorrect I guess.

It did not help that I came from a family that had very high achievers. I wont call myself the black sheep, its just that I was a pig in a family of sheep.

Graduating from high school, I was at the “top” of the middle of the pack. Not for the lack of trying.

I realized I was not as smart as most other people in my class. Neither was I really willing to work way too hard to make up for the lack of smarts. Well, actually I thought I was working harder then most, but I was not able to get much better. I was just wanted to flow with the tide and go along for the ride.

Things at college did not change much. Sam Lomonaco, who taught us algorithms, once asked me if I really was from India, since most of the folks he knew from there were “super smart” and he wanted to know why I was not so.

My confidence, was not at a super high when I started working at Cisco. My hiring manager, Mark really liked me because I knew the one thing that most of the other folks in his team did not. They were largely “business analysts” and I was the only “developer”.

That’s when I started to hit my stride.

They usually say “In a pack of ducks a swan looks ugly“.

In business though it always helps to be the “one with a different perspective”. I was the only one in Mark’s team asking technical implementation questions when they wanted to build anything.

My questions were deemed “smart” or really “different” since none of the others had thought of those. I, on the other hand could not think of any other questions but those.

The first rule of punching above your weight class is to surround yourself with people who you complement.

Later you can surround yourself with people who complement you. Early on though, you have to complement them. That way you achieve two things – you avoid “group think” and you really give them a perspective that’s different.

In late 2001, I had a meeting where David Reichman, (who managed me for a few years) during which it was clear to him that I was “making sh*t up” to answer his questions. After 30 minutes of grilling he said “If you don’t know, then say you don’t know or just ask more questions, don’t give dumb answers”.

Boom! That was it. All I did after that was start asking questions, since I was neither smart enough to have answers or disciplined enough to work hard to get those answers. Better to have smart people give me the answers.

I learnt the second rule of punching above my weight class – Put yourself in a position where your biggest weakness becomes your largest strength.

A few years later, I started to be a little more disciplined. I actually learned to “think” much later in life. I guess I was a “late bloomer” in the field of “thinking”. My initial years were relegated to doing with the sense of “I have to do this because <fill in the blanks> – pass exams, get admission, whatever.

In 2006, I had a chance to make new friends at an event called Community 2.0. Francois was the one that the chair of the event and I had dinner with him and others including Chris Carfi, Aaron Strout, Nate Ritter, Chris Heuer and Lee Lefever. I am not sure who said it but when asked what was the best part of their life, even though they were not the super success they’d like to be, they said “That’s because I do things for myself”.

I then understood the rule three of punching above your weight class – do things for yourself instead of living to other’s expectations. 

Steve Jobs has also said this in his famous commencement speech at Stanford.

I now blog so I can go back and read my posts, I play tennis so I can enjoy the outdoors, I meet entrepreneurs so I can learn. That’s possibly selfish, but I figured out that if I am happy that’s all that matters to my mind.

Those who know me well are surprised that it took me so long to “figure this out”. I guess they thought that coming from a smart family with a super achieving dad, social butterfly for a mom, an insanely talented sister and an naturally smart wife, I have it all and I had been blessed, so I should have figured these things out much earlier.

I seek consolation from the fact that every person takes their own time. Every person is really different and hits their stride at their own pace. They measure up to others expectations and perceptions much later in their life, if at all.

Now when I meet entrepreneurs who are from an excellent pedigree and background, I am more cognizant of the pressures and internal daemons they face. When I meet entrepreneurs who have on the flip side, not had the breaks and chance, I try to give them time.

Mostly though, I apply this learning to the expectations I have of my kids. They will find their groove at some point. During the journey though, I realize the sense of disappointment I have with them not punching even at their weight class. Those expectations are the ones that I have to work on the most.

They too, will find their formula at a time that’s right for them. Until then they are doing just fine – for themselves. Which is what matters the most.

For anyone that has very young kids, is thinking of kids or works with kids (teachers, care providers, etc.) this is a must read book.

In the book Paul Tough talks about the things that dont matter early on – cognitive abilities and those that do – grit, curiosity, optimism etc.

There’s one part in the book that struck me as odd after I have had a chance to read it and understand its key points.

Tough mentions one person “James Heckman” from who he claims he got most of his information and connections from.

That’s it. One person.

Heckman is a Nobel laureate and a leading thinker in the field of cognitive sciences.

Heckman is quite possibly in the 1% of Americans given his background and work.

I found it fascinating that over $5 Billion was being invested on changing early childhood programs and parenting based on his work alone.

One person – making a dramatic change in the world.

1% of the world’s population is a fairly large number – 70 Million.

0.001% is a mighty small number. 70,000

I think the number of influential thinkers, taste makers and people that determine and shape the course of our world is even smaller. Its possibly 7000 people or less.

These are the folks that are not necessarily rich, but are the most powerful and those that change the world for all the other 7 Billion.

Imagine that.

Fewer than 10,000 people (which I think is also a very high number) that make decisions and think and do for the rest of us. The rest are largely living in the world created by the 0.001%.

They are certainly not the richest, or always the most powerful.

Now imagine the same for smaller “worlds”.

Like clothing. Imagine fewer than 100 people that decide the things we should wear.

Or eating.

Or movies, music and dance.

Unfortunately that’s a lot more real than even I thought was happening.

The chosen few are making the decisions that the rest of us live with.

These are defined by what I call product attributes.

Comparisons & reviews are largely subjective and prone to long tirades and endless sentences without getting to the point. Here’s an example. Notice that current attributes that are already stored by Yelp include time the restaurant is open, expected attire, etc.

Those are some of the things I’d like to know.

A large number of things I’d like to know are not really comparable.

They are mentioned in the 88 reviews provided by end users. Taste of the food, visual appeal of the food, softness of the bread.

Reviews that are unstructured are a pain – to sort, filter, compare and review.

There are many who claim that the product attributes for products such as cameras and mobile phones are fairly complete and those are problems already solved.

I think that’s broken thinking.

If you look at how people search for cameras, many (not all) “lay people” dont search for HD pixel density, dual core Snapdragon processors etc.

They search for “how to take good pictures in the dark with your <favorite phone>” or “how to record a live band in <favorite phone> without the background noise”.

The attributes that customers want are those they use the product for. Unlike the specifications and features that manufacturers (or producers / service providers) build them with.

I think if you build a product to classify the attributes that matter for every product (start small and build by category) with a combination of technology and crowd sourcing (or any other mechanism), you will build a valuable company. 

Not to mention that its highly likely that Google, Yelp, Microsoft or others will buy you.

I could hazard a guess. It could be the free food, or the chance to meet other people that might help his company or a chance to make serendipity happen.

Then I overheard a conversation he was having with his mind. Turns out he suffers from “Fear of Missing Out” syndrome, or FOMO.

To be fair, those “rare connections” do happen. That’s the whole point of serendipity. And also the point of never giving up. You just keep plugging away at it until you get to the promised land.

I am that person.

I realize that I have the irrational fear of missing out.

The trouble is , every time I meet an entrepreneur, I learn. I learn a small little thing that I did not know before. It always happens. Without fail.

I have learnt one trick about how to get more views per post with a single character added to my posts. I have learnt the perfect Subject line you can write to get a better open rate in your email newsletter.

So the question is always one of the value of the time spent. I fear that I might miss out on learning something, but at the same time I fear my time is worth a lot more than the lesson learnt.

It is the fear of missing out and it is an irrational fear, but I am curious as to how you overcome that fear. Thoughts welcome.

They found 3 personas of people who would be their customers – Work-work, Work-hobby and Work-life.

The Work-work persona is a rarity anywhere in the world, but more so in India. Among those who work for a big company or at a government agency, this person is an absolute “blue moon“. This kind of person loves their work. They live, breath, eat, sleep their work. From when they were kids they dreamed about doing something in the area of their work. I find few Indian entrepreneurs in this bucket as well, but they are as rare in India as they are in the US.

The Work-hobby persona is someone that does their “day job” to keep the lights on. This is a finance person who does accounting at a large company to earn 2,000,000 (20L or $40K) per year to maintain her EMI, drive a foreign import to work and send her kids to a “good school”. But the passion, desire and fun is Bharatanatyam. I actually know a person who does this exact same thing. She devotes her waking hours outside of work to Bharatanatyam. She’s also a realist and knows that it wont put the food on the table in India. So she continues to slave away at the large company, doing mindless work just so she can make enough money or save enough to pursue her hobby full time.

The Work-life persona is someone that has a job, but he has a life as well. Meaning, he enjoys food, friends, art, culture, movies, books, music, and a whole host of endless options that “living” gives you. He’s not committed to the one “hobby” or is not passionate about that “one thing”. He’s yet to find that one thing that matters to him the most. If you ask him about the one hobby, he’ll likely say “cricket”, “family”, “kids”, “shopping” or “sleeping”. He is not too particular about the type of work as long as it gives him enough money to “live”.

I often meet all 3 of these types of folks becoming entrepreneurs. I have been known to go on record stating that very few of the work-life or the work-hobby will actually succeed. In fact if they do, I’d consider that an exception. For an entrepreneur, work and their startup’s work in particular has to be the thing they breath, dream, eat and sleep.

As an entrepreneur if you are not doing something you like, have a passion for and enjoy, I’d highly recommend you dont do it. You will likely be in two minds at the first obstacle and trust me there are many obstacles for startup entrepreneurs in India.

The big difference between Indian entrepreneurs I meet and those I meet in the valley is that most work-hobby folks in the US end up making their hobby their work. So they also become work-work personas.

They can do this and succeed since there is a market for unique, new, interesting hobby “stuff” given how rich the nation is and how advanced their markets are.

In India the best you can do if you want to make your hobby a big part of your life is to make it  a “side bijiness“. I meet at least 20-30% of employees at a large or small company in India, having a side-bijiness.

The question I get asked by entrepreneurs a lot is what persona type should I hire?

I see most entrepreneurs looking to hire that elusive work-work persona. There are so many Indian entrepreneurs, who claim to have a culture that attracts the work-work persona, and those folks that are passionate employees. I hate to tell them they are being fooled and really if I talked to their employees, they’d tell me they’d rather start their own company, but dont have the risk profile to do so.

Here’s the real truth.

The work-work folks will not be working for you in India. They would rather be entrepreneurs themselves, since they live their work.

So the best you can do as an entrepreneurs is to hire a work-hobby or work-life persona. I’d highly recommend you dont get frustrated if they dont give you a 100%, because really their mind is elsewhere.

As long as they give you what they commit to, be happy, move on.

Above all be a force of good.

Along with Sandeep Singhal and Aarti Kapoor we had a chance to talk about key trends that will affect startups in India over lunch.

1.  Android is growing very rapidly in India and smartphone growth has hit an inflection point (across all brands). The estimate for Indian smartphone growth is there will be 40+ Million new smartphones (of all types) overall this year sold and that compares to an existing base of 25 Million smart phones. So, 65 Million smartphones out of a total of 600 Million unique phone users in India. By 2020, over 350 Million phones will be smartphones in India and most of them will be connected (Compared to only 25M connected smartphones in 2012).
2. Large brands (not digital companies like eCommerce and others) are now beginning to bring their brand campaigns online and digital is complementing TV and print in a significant way. Over the next 3 years brand spending will move to digital in a meaningful way.
3. SMB spend online accounts for a small 10% of advertising spend online, but is growing dramatically. Given that some estimates put the # of SMB in India to be 45 Million, even 20-30% of them going online in the next 7 years is a dramatic increase in # of SMB  websites in India.
4. Video will be a key driver of brand advertising in India. While search is a very powerful performance medium, YouTube has grown by leaps and bounds in India and is also strong growth engine.

What does this mean for startups?

1. Companies focused on getting SMB’s online with a simple and easy to use product will do well he said.
2. Since the number of English speaking Indians is much smaller than Indic languages, indic language focused startups will have a very bright future
3. He also was bullish on the Indian eCommerce market, given that FDI in retail will be addressed at some point of time. Companies that have the wherewithal to last the next few years and grow profitably will be ripe for acquisition in a few years.

4 technology venture investors were at the accelerator today to listen to 7 corporate development and M&A teams on what they were looking for in an acquisition. The 4 investors together have over $2 Billion invested in India in the technology companies alone.

Exits are critically important to their (and hence entrepreneur’s) success. Exits with good premiums are even more important to them, but I am getting ahead of myself.

There are many reasons why a company acquires another company, but the 2 most important we talked about were a) Access to markets – in our case, India and b) Access to Intellectual capital.

Local acquisitions (Indian companies buying Indian startups) are fairly rare since many of the larger technology companies in India (services companies) dont believe they need IP based offerings and have the access to the market already.

Thanks to the FDI issues, eCommerce companies, which would have been a acquisition target for many companies are not longer on the shopping list of many acquirers.

So if you are looking to get investment from these venture investors, you will have to really follow the money trail, which starts at where companies are getting bought (since IPO’s are fairly rare).

For many of the larger technology companies, access to Indian markets is not a huge issue, (there are exceptions, IFlex and Oracle being one) and a few others might still happen, but the large source of exits will still be companies who need Intellectual property and those that need access to markets.

While many Indian entrepreneurs still hate the word “exit” and believe it is an unnatural act, they still do need to provide returns for their investors.

So to raise money now, you better have a clear idea about how you can plug a “white space” that exists among the larger companies from an Intellectual Property standpoint.

Some areas that we discussed were a) Payments b) Indic language technology c) On boarding SMB on the Internet d) cloud infrastructure and e) Software defined networking (SDN).

Without doubt the area that’s immensely competitive and hotly contested is mobile applications. With a large number of Internet enabled smartphones and a ARPU that’s nearly 2-3 times that of Indian consumers, it is a ripe area for innovation. I had a chance to talk to over 300+ entrepreneurs at GMIC in Bejing.

There are 3 major trends that I found particularly fascinating that I think will have some impact in the Indian ecosystem as well.

1. Messaging. Similar to Indians, the Chinese use a lot of messaging. SMS and text messaging have largely given way to messaging applications like What’s app clones in China. I was surprised to learn that the average Chinese user has a minimum of 4 messaging applications and most have close to 10. That struck me as overkill. Then I looked at my own phone and I was surprised that I had a lot of “inboxes” on my phone. Skype, What’s app, SMS, Lync, Yahoo messenger (to chat with my sis and brother-in-law, who are die-hard Yahoo users), Google talk and finally Facebook messenger.

2. Twists on messaging: There was one app that I saw that only had 2 icons and a Send button. The 2 icons revealed 20 to 30 standard messages but with icons instead of writing. Imagine they are “shortcut icons” to “How are you”? or “I am happy” or “I am late”. That’s it. The entire app was built on top of simple messages represented by icons.

It struck me that the hunt and peck of the laptop / notebook has given way to to the touch and tap of the mobile.

The amazing part of this app was that it supported folks that were not “literate”. Which is a large problem in India, given that only 20% or less of us are multi-lingual.

So an icon for “What’s up” is the same in Gujarati, Hindi, Bhojpuri or Tamil. Language barriers solved. Awesome.

3. Purpose built messaging instead of one size fits all. Tom wrote about unbundling of social networks and I think that’s what’s going to happen to messaging as well. Right now we are all happy with What’s app, but its ripe for disruption. I can imagine a couple just using a I love you messaging app to send sweet nothings to each other in 100 different ways during the day. Or two college buddies swearing at each other all day on their Galli De messaging app, just for fun. There’s another Chinese messaging app that’s just a blank canvas screen for people to message drawings to each other.

I’d love to get your perspective on if you have more than 1 messaging app on your phone and if you’d download and use multiple purpose built messaging apps.

Sometimes I do get an enlightened entrepreneur who asks me more existential questions – Why do you think we should exist? Which is the toughest question to ask and answer. It is not that they dont know the answer to that question. They are asking me so they can get a sense of their business and if they are focusing on the right things.

I spent all of yesterday, with 4 tremendous entrepreneurs who are shining examples of social entrepreneurship. I was at the Ashoka Innovators panel trying to see how we can help them scale their organizations.

I used to think that most social entrepreneurs were tree-hugging, not-for-profit, mission-over-business folks. I was also ignorant enough to think that they were all NGO’s.

One young entrepreneur in particular impressed me much.

Shashank, is the cofounder of FarmsnFarmers, a very impressive young entrepreneur, enough to put 90% of the technology startups that I work with to shame with his excellent metrics.

His revenue growth, maturity and the deep understanding of his business impressed me tremendously. I can confidently say he was in the top 5 of the list of entrepreneurs I have met this year, and I have met over 2000 this year alone, in the US, China and India.

In 2 years the business has gone from 0 to over 5 CR ($1 Million) in revenue and will do 15 CR ($3 Million) this year. He and his cofounders are both IIT alums and they are both under 27 years of age.

While the revenue metric is impressive in and of itself, the meaning metric is more mind-blowing.

Their goal is to try and get as many marginalized farmers from the “poverty” line to the “lower middle class” line. A difference of nearly Rs. 5000  - Rs. 8000 ($100 – $150) per month in rural Bihar, which arguably is among the poorest of states.

That metric – the # of farmers they bring out of poverty is their meaning metric. If they do that, then their business succeeds and their revenues will grow as well.

That’s something every startup should focus on, not just those who are social entrepreneurs.

The meaning metric answers the ultimate question – “So What”?

How have people’s lives changed because of what your are building?

Even if you are building a social network or an eCommerce site, I would highly encourage you to find and communicate your meaning metric.

P.S. The # of farmers Shashank & his team bring out of poverty directly correlates to their revenues. Just so you get a sense of ambition, if he tracks on his 3 year operating plan, or even misses by 30%, he will be in the top 50 of Indian startups in 3 years, by revenue growth, in any field, including eCommerce.

Above all, he is a force of good.

Lets talk about me as an example in particular.

I have done a few investments in India, but never have been a lead investor. It is not because I have not tried. When I see a good team and a great market, I have reached out to other investors I know to let them know that the startup is worth investing in. Not one of the companies I have tried to invest in has been able to raise money from the folks I put them in touch with. I have always been a part of a syndicate, where the founder has brought other investors together.

That’s very humbling.

So, if you think I have some “influence” you are off the mark.

My “influence” stops at getting people to take a meeting with you. In India, that’s not worth a lot. Most folks will give you time to setup a meeting and get to know entrepreneurs.

There has not been a single case when I have led an investment and found other investors willing to co-invest because of me.

In many cases I have followed.

So I have stopped referring companies to other angel or seed investors. It is very humbling to know that I am unable to help get companies funded. I can put my money in, but that’s about it.

So I have been giving excuses (some of it is true) that I dont have time for due diligence, or dont have market knowledge in certain areas. They are excuses unfortunately.

So I tried to do some analysis as to why I am unable to get others to rally behind my investment thesis. The answer is simple and complicated at the same time.

The simple answer is I have not made money for anyone other than myself. Once you make money for someone they are more willing to invest in you since you are “proven”. I am only proven to myself.

The complicated answer is that its hard to understand Indian investors and I have not understood the motivations of Indian angel and seed investors yet. Its difficult since I have been here for only 5 years and even though I have a lot of friends, I dont have enough deep relationships built on a consistent theme of doing business and making money.

What’s the takeaway for you?

1. I personally dont think there are more than 5-10 real lead investors in India who are the “taste makers” or the “Pied piper’s” of India. Get them on your side first and then try to have them help you round your angel or seed round.

2. Else be prepared to meet 40-50 “investors” and convince them individually and try to land 3-5 investors to co-invest. This also means you should expect to take 2-3 months to raise a small $100K to $250 round.

3. The alternate strategy is to get one investor who can lead and fill out the round. There are a few folks who can do that, but they are rare and they will be able to write you a check $100 – $250K